I think I actually have to make this disclaimer: The views contained in this blog are solely those of the author. Teach for America and Americorps do not endorse the content or political inclinations of the author.
Those of us who are rooting for a seven game series in the NBA finals are also likely hoping beyond hope for a year-long grudge match among the field of likely GOP presidential contenders. The good news: all signs are pointing to a fight-to-the-death among the field of loud-mouthed, largely irrelevant candidates--er, excuse me, candidates and likely candidates. Mitt Romney shocked the world when he took 90 minutes to announce his candidacy this week, telling supporters and desperately bored cable news audiences that he was dismayed at President Obama's leadership. You know, the sort of leadership that ushered in a national version of Romney's baby, the Massachusetts universal healthcare law. What sort of leadership would the Mitt-en (a nickname I've suggested to his camp several times via email) bring to 1600 Pennsylvania? Based on his reportage of skewed and just blantantly wrong economic statistics, his style will be Powerpoint-based, dishonest or just plain stupid. But you know what, when you're running for President it doesn't matter if you play with the facts a bit, right? Because no one really listens to what you're saying. (Actually, each and every news station cut away from Mitt's speech before he actually announced it. Oops.)
But bad news timing wasn't the only problem for the former governor from Massachusetts. Another former governor stepped on his toes, almost definitely not by accident. Guess who?! Yep, Sal Pal (another emailed suggestion which the Palin campaign has rejected) and her magical painted not campaign bus blew through Boston just in time to criticize Romney in his own hood...by suggesting that he just wasn't crazy-right-wing enough. Sarah Palin, she graciously pointed out for the illiterate and the blind, holds much more conservative values AND beliefs. Both values and beliefs held by Sarah Palin are conservative. Seriously, she's conservative. If you made it through those sentences, you can go ahead and mute any news coverage of her not-campaign tour, because that's all you'll hear. You are welcome.
Sal also got some love earlier in the week when she stopped by New York rocking a new, big old piece of bling in her Star of David necklace. She wanted to use her bully pulpit to garner support for Israel and to honor the 44th Anniversary, or Golden Jubilee (right?), of the reunification of Jerusalem following the Six Day War. Israel, I'm not a doctor, but you need to go ahead and nip that in the bud.
In other news, the two-year long FBI investigation of fallen Democratic pretty boy and former North Carolina Senator John Edwards culminated in a pathetically weak indictment against him. Before standing in front of the courthouse and declaring that he had unquestionably done wrong, he stood inside the courthoues and pleaded not guilty. Prosecutors say that Edwards used donations from two wealthy political allies to cover up his affair and subsequent love child. The money in question, $925,000, exceeded the limit which one person can donate to a presidential campagin, and also went unreported by the Edwards camp. A couple of things that add some much-needed context to this story:
Gingrich announced early that much of his campagin staff and central campagin operation would be based in Georgia, hoping to retain his down-home, favorite son image (bear in mind that he didn't live in Georgia until he was grown). Well, that was back when only pizza enthusiasts knew who Herman Cain was. Those days are apparently long gone, according to a recent poll: Cain led the pack of candidates and likely candidates with 26% support. Where was Georgia's favorite son? A distant third, behind Michelle Bachmann, with a sickly 12% figure. While he did fare better than "Other", the "Undecided" category clearly beat the former House Speaker. Better luck next time, Tiger.
Among the candidates who might have been included in the "Other" category is former Utah Governor and, until three weeks ago, Ambassador to China (yep, during the Obama administration) Jon Huntsman. Huntsman is reportedly climbing in esteem among social conservatives. Consider that support with his fairly strong economic record in Utah and his rich international experience, and this dog just might hunt(sman). Huntsman hasn't formally entered the race, but all the tea leaves are holding their breath to see if their "going to run" predictions were right. In my opinion they probably are and he probably will run and prove to be quite a contender. Rumor has it that, should Huntsman throw his hat in the ring, he will follow the road paved by 2008 candidate Rudy Giuliani (who, you may recall, lost). For those of you who devote valuable memory real estate to esoteric trivia from previous election cycles may recall that America's Mayor cobbled together an innovative and stupid campaing strategy: Let the other guys rack up the big early wins and gain momentum and meet them in Florida. Whether Rudy thought this would work or just actually cared about his tan that much is unclear. What is clear is how much this plan did not work in 2008, and certainly won't in 2012. Still, sources close to maybe-candidate Huntsman say he will pursue a similar strategy and bypass the Iowa caucuses. Now, maybe as a Mormon candidate in the highly religious political context of Iowa, Huntsman didn't like his odds. But the huge question mark remains: how can you make it to the playoffs if your season's shorter than everybody else's? Jon, we don't really know each other that well yet, but you seem like a sharper kind of Ginsu knife (particularly in the context of your fellow contenders)--why you acting so crazy for?
And that's your daily dose of political griping.
Those of us who are rooting for a seven game series in the NBA finals are also likely hoping beyond hope for a year-long grudge match among the field of likely GOP presidential contenders. The good news: all signs are pointing to a fight-to-the-death among the field of loud-mouthed, largely irrelevant candidates--er, excuse me, candidates and likely candidates. Mitt Romney shocked the world when he took 90 minutes to announce his candidacy this week, telling supporters and desperately bored cable news audiences that he was dismayed at President Obama's leadership. You know, the sort of leadership that ushered in a national version of Romney's baby, the Massachusetts universal healthcare law. What sort of leadership would the Mitt-en (a nickname I've suggested to his camp several times via email) bring to 1600 Pennsylvania? Based on his reportage of skewed and just blantantly wrong economic statistics, his style will be Powerpoint-based, dishonest or just plain stupid. But you know what, when you're running for President it doesn't matter if you play with the facts a bit, right? Because no one really listens to what you're saying. (Actually, each and every news station cut away from Mitt's speech before he actually announced it. Oops.)
But bad news timing wasn't the only problem for the former governor from Massachusetts. Another former governor stepped on his toes, almost definitely not by accident. Guess who?! Yep, Sal Pal (another emailed suggestion which the Palin campaign has rejected) and her magical painted not campaign bus blew through Boston just in time to criticize Romney in his own hood...by suggesting that he just wasn't crazy-right-wing enough. Sarah Palin, she graciously pointed out for the illiterate and the blind, holds much more conservative values AND beliefs. Both values and beliefs held by Sarah Palin are conservative. Seriously, she's conservative. If you made it through those sentences, you can go ahead and mute any news coverage of her not-campaign tour, because that's all you'll hear. You are welcome.
Sal also got some love earlier in the week when she stopped by New York rocking a new, big old piece of bling in her Star of David necklace. She wanted to use her bully pulpit to garner support for Israel and to honor the 44th Anniversary, or Golden Jubilee (right?), of the reunification of Jerusalem following the Six Day War. Israel, I'm not a doctor, but you need to go ahead and nip that in the bud.
In other news, the two-year long FBI investigation of fallen Democratic pretty boy and former North Carolina Senator John Edwards culminated in a pathetically weak indictment against him. Before standing in front of the courthouse and declaring that he had unquestionably done wrong, he stood inside the courthoues and pleaded not guilty. Prosecutors say that Edwards used donations from two wealthy political allies to cover up his affair and subsequent love child. The money in question, $925,000, exceeded the limit which one person can donate to a presidential campagin, and also went unreported by the Edwards camp. A couple of things that add some much-needed context to this story:
- Edwards wife, Elizabeth, who succombed to breast cancer at the age of 61 last year, was terminally ill as Johnny boy was ruffling his otherwise immobile hair in the sack. He was not mentioned in her will.
- The love child is quickly approaching the period in his life when he'll remember these things, but there's no evidence that Edwards has contact with the child, although the millionaire former senator does claim to be supporting him financially.
- The donors in question initially began offering these funds to the Edwards campaign under the table after his $400 haircut became the subject of ridicule. So, if he could have just settled for Bo Rick's we might not be in this mess.
- Apparently, he still finds sleeping at night possible. Remember when he was almost Vice President? Ew.
Gingrich announced early that much of his campagin staff and central campagin operation would be based in Georgia, hoping to retain his down-home, favorite son image (bear in mind that he didn't live in Georgia until he was grown). Well, that was back when only pizza enthusiasts knew who Herman Cain was. Those days are apparently long gone, according to a recent poll: Cain led the pack of candidates and likely candidates with 26% support. Where was Georgia's favorite son? A distant third, behind Michelle Bachmann, with a sickly 12% figure. While he did fare better than "Other", the "Undecided" category clearly beat the former House Speaker. Better luck next time, Tiger.
Among the candidates who might have been included in the "Other" category is former Utah Governor and, until three weeks ago, Ambassador to China (yep, during the Obama administration) Jon Huntsman. Huntsman is reportedly climbing in esteem among social conservatives. Consider that support with his fairly strong economic record in Utah and his rich international experience, and this dog just might hunt(sman). Huntsman hasn't formally entered the race, but all the tea leaves are holding their breath to see if their "going to run" predictions were right. In my opinion they probably are and he probably will run and prove to be quite a contender. Rumor has it that, should Huntsman throw his hat in the ring, he will follow the road paved by 2008 candidate Rudy Giuliani (who, you may recall, lost). For those of you who devote valuable memory real estate to esoteric trivia from previous election cycles may recall that America's Mayor cobbled together an innovative and stupid campaing strategy: Let the other guys rack up the big early wins and gain momentum and meet them in Florida. Whether Rudy thought this would work or just actually cared about his tan that much is unclear. What is clear is how much this plan did not work in 2008, and certainly won't in 2012. Still, sources close to maybe-candidate Huntsman say he will pursue a similar strategy and bypass the Iowa caucuses. Now, maybe as a Mormon candidate in the highly religious political context of Iowa, Huntsman didn't like his odds. But the huge question mark remains: how can you make it to the playoffs if your season's shorter than everybody else's? Jon, we don't really know each other that well yet, but you seem like a sharper kind of Ginsu knife (particularly in the context of your fellow contenders)--why you acting so crazy for?
And that's your daily dose of political griping.
Well congratulations on the blog, witty as usual. Since I don't have a full time research department and you apparently have time these days to blog, I will shoot a question your way. I was just curious how everyone's favorite non-candidate Sal Pal (I'll try and help out and give that nickname some traction) is paying for the non-campaign tour. She's said it so many times I think she might actually be beginning to believe the hype or maybe her psychologist just thought that might be the best way to deal with the shock of putting in all that time and effort in and ending up in defeat. Anyway, I am sure the legal team on the non-campaign has it all covered. But as John Edwards can attest to, it can just get a little murky what that campaign money can be spent on. I’m not a lawyer but if you can’t spend your campaign money to cover up your illegitimate children I’m pretty sure you can’t take your family on vacation in a sweet tour bus with a paint job that would make, well I was going to say Mick Jagger but he’s British, so a paint job that would make Michele Bachmann jealous. Since you already have a relationship with her email junk box I thought you might want to help her out, you know give her a heads up.
ReplyDeletePs. You know who vetoed the design estimate I got for the 4Runner on the Jackson trip. I was going to use the Declaration of Independence, of course the flag and a mural of Teddy Roosevelt just to pay homage. It would have been awesome…