I think I actually have to make this disclaimer: The views contained in this blog are solely those of the author. Teach for America and Americorps do not endorse the content or political inclinations of the author.
Now before I get into this, I want the record to show that I really, really intended to leave Anthony Weiner conspicuously out of this post. The puns are pretty low-hanging fruit ("Weiner lets it all hang out", "What a Weiner", and "Weiner Dogged"), shirtless New York reps are pretty old news, and, frankly, it's just too friggin' weird to give a fair assessment of it. While I can't say for sure whether it was Monday's non-apology that pushed him back above the fold or today's speculation that his wife of ten months is pregnant, something seemed to compel me to give my two cents.
Here goes:
UGH.
Seriously, Tony? You're wife is gorgeous. You represent one of the safest Democratic districts in your state, if not the country. You had ambitions of going places, man! And worst of all, you literally just campaigned, weeks ago, for Kathy Hochul to take Chris Lee's seat (you'll remember that Chris Lee was the other guy who put himself on Craigslist and immediately fell from grace). How did you not see this coming? But even pretending for a second that you actually thought you could get away with it, why make up the whole hacker story and get indignant on national television...several times? I'm not mad, A$, I'm just disappointed.
That's a lie. I'm kind of mad. But as speculation swirls about where Weiner is sleeping, couch or bed, why he wears boxer briefs instead of boxers, and why his junk lists to the port side, I can't help but wonder how Chris Lee feels about all of this. Poor Rep. Lee was a freshman Congressman from New York's very conservative 26th district. As such, he didn't get a whole lot of air time. That is until he went all Oprah on us and bought EVERYBODY tickets to the gun show. I suppose no politican wants to become infamous, but I would further suppose that most politicians would choose infamous over nameless. And now Anthony Weiner has robbed Chris Lee of his niche, his thing, his pizzazz. No longer can Lee proudly boast to be the sole bearer of the Shirtless Ego Maniac Elected Official from New York Award, presented annually by Eliot Spitzer. But even worse, Weiner's copycat antics have invited a number of side-by-side comparisons of the next-to-nude duo aboutwhich Chris Lee just can't be happy. I'll save you the link, but suffice it to say that Chris Lee looked more like a scrawnier Ahnold of 2011, while Weiner was solidly a scrawnier Ahnold from the early 1980s, back in his hay day.
But honestly, let's have a round of applause for the great voters of New York. Without you, we'd only know our politicians as the dudes in suits and ties. And what kind of democracy are we then?
If there is an upside to this debauchery, it might be that Jack Donaghy (or Alec Baldwin as he calls himself) is now floating some test balloons for a mayoral run in NYC in 2013. According to a friend or maybe brother of Baldwin's, Weiner was seen as a big hurdle and likely contendah in the '13 race. With his panties now all in a bunch, Alec's feeling a little encouraged. I'd rather vote for Tracy Morgan, but I'll take whatever 30 Rock will give me.
Speaking of people who once had the support of an electorate but likely won't ever again, remember Rick Santorum? He's running for President! Huzzah!! If you haven't already played this game, take a second to see what happens when you Google "Santorum". It's not for the weak of heart, but the results should give you a clue as to why no one seems to take his candidacy seriously. In a letter to supporters this week, Santorum encouraged them to tune in on Monday as he began a new kind of presidential campaign rhetoric. Alas, zero, nada, zilch camera crews were present to allow us to tune in. He also hasn't been mentioned in a Reuters, Quinnipiac, or CNN poll in Iowa, South Carolina, or New Hampshire since his announcement early last month. And yet, he keeps on keeping on. If you have a spare fiver this week, send it on to him. He's got like 18 really adorable (and potentially Amish?) kids to feed.
With the Santorums, Pauls, Gingrichs of the Republican world leaving hardliners disappointed, several right wingers are now the subject of lobbying efforts. Last week, a group of Iowa business men met with New Jersey Governor Chris Christie to beg him to run for president. He said no. Apparently he didn't know that the White House comes with a plane, which is much cooler than a helicopter. Also under pressure from the right is Texas Governor Rick Perry. Who once, in an official capacity, mentioned that Texas would consider secession. It begs the question: if these are the guys being begged to run, who are they begging not to run?
But conservative Republicans aren't the only ones who are choosing between lotsa crappy choices. Late last week, Moody's announced that it would downgrade America's debt if we did not successfully raise the debt ceiling. The Senate, where this bill would have to originate, has really been putting up a fight, although their House Brethren seem have caught the contrarian bug lately, too. Thanks to the likes of Rand Paul (Super R-KY) and House Majority Leader John Boehner (Great Tan-OH), this once-routine piece of legislation has become such a deeply embedded point of contention that it was very difficult to know how this dance could end. The Democrats said adopting the cuts put forth by the Republicans would make us into a gentrified, heartless oligarchy. Weirdly, the Republicans disagreed and suggested that failing to adopt those cuts would make us Greece with a pita to stand on.
And then Moody's made their announcement this week, and offered a third solution: compromise before you actually bring about our economic ruin. And this isn't like that one time when the rapture was going to come, and the sheep would be separated from the rams. I liked my odds in the rapture. But I really don't like my odds, or any of our odds, in a defaulted American economy. But no rush, Congress. We all know how hot it gets in DC in the summer, and you guys really earned some lounging time from all the governmenting you've done of late (I'm looking at you, Weiner).
Oooo! Oooo!! While we're on such a happy note, go ahead and take a look at May's jobs report. But I promise it's not as grim as it seems. The Obama campaign announced a myriad of (actually upwards of 1,000 for now) new paid positions this week, suggesting that the President may just be trying to single-handedly employ all of our unemployed himself. And why not? He's going to spend a billion dollars this cycle, so he might as well get an approval rating boost out of it.
Remember when he was going to accept public money? Oh, Glory Days.
Well that's all I've got this time. Mostly because Anthony Weiner's Hanes have the news pipeline all stopped up. But until next time, so long and may images of Michelle Bachmann as the Republican nominee dance in your dreams.
Now before I get into this, I want the record to show that I really, really intended to leave Anthony Weiner conspicuously out of this post. The puns are pretty low-hanging fruit ("Weiner lets it all hang out", "What a Weiner", and "Weiner Dogged"), shirtless New York reps are pretty old news, and, frankly, it's just too friggin' weird to give a fair assessment of it. While I can't say for sure whether it was Monday's non-apology that pushed him back above the fold or today's speculation that his wife of ten months is pregnant, something seemed to compel me to give my two cents.
Here goes:
UGH.
Seriously, Tony? You're wife is gorgeous. You represent one of the safest Democratic districts in your state, if not the country. You had ambitions of going places, man! And worst of all, you literally just campaigned, weeks ago, for Kathy Hochul to take Chris Lee's seat (you'll remember that Chris Lee was the other guy who put himself on Craigslist and immediately fell from grace). How did you not see this coming? But even pretending for a second that you actually thought you could get away with it, why make up the whole hacker story and get indignant on national television...several times? I'm not mad, A$, I'm just disappointed.
That's a lie. I'm kind of mad. But as speculation swirls about where Weiner is sleeping, couch or bed, why he wears boxer briefs instead of boxers, and why his junk lists to the port side, I can't help but wonder how Chris Lee feels about all of this. Poor Rep. Lee was a freshman Congressman from New York's very conservative 26th district. As such, he didn't get a whole lot of air time. That is until he went all Oprah on us and bought EVERYBODY tickets to the gun show. I suppose no politican wants to become infamous, but I would further suppose that most politicians would choose infamous over nameless. And now Anthony Weiner has robbed Chris Lee of his niche, his thing, his pizzazz. No longer can Lee proudly boast to be the sole bearer of the Shirtless Ego Maniac Elected Official from New York Award, presented annually by Eliot Spitzer. But even worse, Weiner's copycat antics have invited a number of side-by-side comparisons of the next-to-nude duo aboutwhich Chris Lee just can't be happy. I'll save you the link, but suffice it to say that Chris Lee looked more like a scrawnier Ahnold of 2011, while Weiner was solidly a scrawnier Ahnold from the early 1980s, back in his hay day.
But honestly, let's have a round of applause for the great voters of New York. Without you, we'd only know our politicians as the dudes in suits and ties. And what kind of democracy are we then?
If there is an upside to this debauchery, it might be that Jack Donaghy (or Alec Baldwin as he calls himself) is now floating some test balloons for a mayoral run in NYC in 2013. According to a friend or maybe brother of Baldwin's, Weiner was seen as a big hurdle and likely contendah in the '13 race. With his panties now all in a bunch, Alec's feeling a little encouraged. I'd rather vote for Tracy Morgan, but I'll take whatever 30 Rock will give me.
Speaking of people who once had the support of an electorate but likely won't ever again, remember Rick Santorum? He's running for President! Huzzah!! If you haven't already played this game, take a second to see what happens when you Google "Santorum". It's not for the weak of heart, but the results should give you a clue as to why no one seems to take his candidacy seriously. In a letter to supporters this week, Santorum encouraged them to tune in on Monday as he began a new kind of presidential campaign rhetoric. Alas, zero, nada, zilch camera crews were present to allow us to tune in. He also hasn't been mentioned in a Reuters, Quinnipiac, or CNN poll in Iowa, South Carolina, or New Hampshire since his announcement early last month. And yet, he keeps on keeping on. If you have a spare fiver this week, send it on to him. He's got like 18 really adorable (and potentially Amish?) kids to feed.
With the Santorums, Pauls, Gingrichs of the Republican world leaving hardliners disappointed, several right wingers are now the subject of lobbying efforts. Last week, a group of Iowa business men met with New Jersey Governor Chris Christie to beg him to run for president. He said no. Apparently he didn't know that the White House comes with a plane, which is much cooler than a helicopter. Also under pressure from the right is Texas Governor Rick Perry. Who once, in an official capacity, mentioned that Texas would consider secession. It begs the question: if these are the guys being begged to run, who are they begging not to run?
But conservative Republicans aren't the only ones who are choosing between lotsa crappy choices. Late last week, Moody's announced that it would downgrade America's debt if we did not successfully raise the debt ceiling. The Senate, where this bill would have to originate, has really been putting up a fight, although their House Brethren seem have caught the contrarian bug lately, too. Thanks to the likes of Rand Paul (Super R-KY) and House Majority Leader John Boehner (Great Tan-OH), this once-routine piece of legislation has become such a deeply embedded point of contention that it was very difficult to know how this dance could end. The Democrats said adopting the cuts put forth by the Republicans would make us into a gentrified, heartless oligarchy. Weirdly, the Republicans disagreed and suggested that failing to adopt those cuts would make us Greece with a pita to stand on.
And then Moody's made their announcement this week, and offered a third solution: compromise before you actually bring about our economic ruin. And this isn't like that one time when the rapture was going to come, and the sheep would be separated from the rams. I liked my odds in the rapture. But I really don't like my odds, or any of our odds, in a defaulted American economy. But no rush, Congress. We all know how hot it gets in DC in the summer, and you guys really earned some lounging time from all the governmenting you've done of late (I'm looking at you, Weiner).
Oooo! Oooo!! While we're on such a happy note, go ahead and take a look at May's jobs report. But I promise it's not as grim as it seems. The Obama campaign announced a myriad of (actually upwards of 1,000 for now) new paid positions this week, suggesting that the President may just be trying to single-handedly employ all of our unemployed himself. And why not? He's going to spend a billion dollars this cycle, so he might as well get an approval rating boost out of it.
Remember when he was going to accept public money? Oh, Glory Days.
Well that's all I've got this time. Mostly because Anthony Weiner's Hanes have the news pipeline all stopped up. But until next time, so long and may images of Michelle Bachmann as the Republican nominee dance in your dreams.
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